"But he started it!!!"
In the space between the fighting and the making-up, the offense and the hurt, there are two pointed fingers and one mama losing her grip on calm.
"It isn't important who started the fight. You have a part in this too. You hit back. You said hurtful things too."
And I fight-- to hold it in, to keep it down, gripping my right to an uninterrupted life like a favorite toy. And my fingers are pointed, too.
"They started it, Lord! I can't help losing my temper again! Why can't they just get along for five minutes?"
"I'm a terrible mother. It's all my fault--how will my kids ever learn self-control when their mother can't keep a lid on it?"
I doubt my children will stop their bickering any time soon. But their mama can. I can breathe deep and lean into the discomfort of resolving conflict. I can own up to my angry words, and drop my blaming fingers. I can seek and grant forgiveness.
After all, that's what I want my kids to do--and some things are worth fighting for.
I, too, had just discovered Five Minutes Friday. When my kids fights, I would wish to be invisible, not to emerge again until the fight is over. Of course my kids wouldn't leave me alone, and I yelled at them more often than I want to admit. Let your post be a kind reminder to me the next time it happens. Happy writing!
ReplyDeleteI totally relate to this. I think one of the hardest parts of mothering (for me) is the constant interruption! Its never guaranteed that I can finish anything. Its a battle!
DeleteThanks for reading, Natalie!
As a mother of two grown kids I remember this too shall pass as the coined phrase goes and the like the wave of a magic wand it will be gone in the blink of an eye leaving you to wonder where time went and wish for those childish moments once again even in fight...
ReplyDeleteA good reminder for perspective! Thank you Kerry!
DeleteI think you just described my day. Love this! Visiting from Five Minute Friday.
ReplyDeleteWe are in the trenches! Solidarity! :)
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